“There are no dumb questions, only dumb answers.” Marshall Loeb, Editor of The Columbia Journalism Review is credited with that statement, but there do seem to be an awful lot of people who are bent on challenging its wisdom.
Tourist Bureaus Collect Silly Question Gems
The folks who staff the Tourist Information Office in Halifax, Nova Scotia have lost count of the number of times they’ve been asked, “What time does the noon gun go off?” But, that’s probably been asked of every tourist bureau in the world where midday is marked with by the firing of a cannon.
On the other side of Canada, at Tofino on Vancouver Island, they’ve published a fine collection of some of the queries they’ve had to field:
- “Do the whales come out when it rains?”
- “We’re going to Parksville tomorrow; will there still be tides there?”
- “How much do those islands weigh?”
- “When do the smoked salmon run?”
In Tofino they call this apparent separation of brain from the mouth Silly Tourist Question Syndrome (STQS). Other tourist destinations may not be quite so polite.
Silly Tourist Questions Are a Worldwide Phenomenon
The Daily Telegraph in the United Kingdom has put together an international list “of the most inexplicably simple queries fielded by tourism officials:”
- “Are there any lakes in the Lake District?”
- “Why on earth did they build Windsor Castle on the flight path for Heathrow?”
- “Is Wales closed during the winter?”
- “Why did they build so many ruined castles and abbeys in England?”
- “Is Edinburgh in Glasgow?”
- “Can I wear high heels in Australia?”
- “Do you know of any undiscovered ruins?”
Hospitality Staff Work Hard but the Laughs are Plentiful
Niagara Falls is crammed with tourists in the summer and they provide a rich source of humour for those working in the hospitality industry. The Niagara Blog offered a $50 prize for the best funny tourist story in 2008. Many perennial favourites showed up as entries, such as:
- “What time does the falls shut off?”
- “How far into Canada do I have to go before we have to drive on the other side of the road?”
- “How much does it cost to get into Canada and are children a different price?”
- “Can you tell me where the Skylon Tower is?” This question asked while riding up the elevator in the Skylon Tower.
And, of course, every tourism worker in Canada gets asked in the summer where the snow is.
Sometimes though, the tables are turned on tourists. Travel writer Bill Bryson has told about buying a ticket on British Rail and asking for a receipt. The ticket vendor told Bryson, “The ticket is free but it’ll be £35 for the receipt.”
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